Oh, Come On!

O.K., so just in case you weren't already absolutely certain that Lifetime is the worst channel ever, they go and release this shameful piece of television cinema. It tells the story of a young man and former wrestler, whose sister is brutally murdered, who forms a strange (and way too sexual for primetime TV) bond with a widow, who has a deaf son. [Got it? Me neither.] The fact that I have seen this movie and am able to sufficiently rant about it makes me physically angry.

#1: Could this poster for the movie be a little more Photoshopped? Michelle Pfeiffer looks like she's made out of clay. And when has natural light ever hit people's bodies in that many different places at once?

#2: Not like it's a big surprise, but the acting in this film is beyond atrocious. Ashton Kutcher tries to play troubled, but ends up coming off nutty. In one particularly ridiculous scene, he pretends to cry while wearing a chicken costume. Michelle Pfeiffer mostly relies on her strategically tousled hair. And don't even get me started on the voice-overs...

#3: The whole movie is crazy confusing and hard to watch, due to the fact that it attempts to be very artsy and overly dramatic. It has a sort of gray filter over the whole thing and there are endless amounts of camera shots approximately one centimeter from the characters' faces.

I've already spent way too much time on this subject. The moral of the story is: if your Tivo thinks that it's taping this movie for you, tell your Tivo no.


Many moans,

Hannah