Fierce Bitch of the Moment

Amber Riley (aka Mercedes on Fox's guilty pleasure musical show Glee)

If you know Glee, then you know that Amber Riley is fierce. As resident badass diva Mercedes, the beyond talented Miss Riley is a powerhouse of vocal ability. Her voice will send chills down your spine and dare I say, even give you full-body goosebumps. Hop over to iTunes and download Glee Season 1: The Music Vol. 1. Volume 2 comes out December 8, so your holiday of happiness and song will be complete.

Gleeking hardcore,

Hannah

Oh, Come On!

O.K., so just in case you weren't already absolutely certain that Lifetime is the worst channel ever, they go and release this shameful piece of television cinema. It tells the story of a young man and former wrestler, whose sister is brutally murdered, who forms a strange (and way too sexual for primetime TV) bond with a widow, who has a deaf son. [Got it? Me neither.] The fact that I have seen this movie and am able to sufficiently rant about it makes me physically angry.

#1: Could this poster for the movie be a little more Photoshopped? Michelle Pfeiffer looks like she's made out of clay. And when has natural light ever hit people's bodies in that many different places at once?

#2: Not like it's a big surprise, but the acting in this film is beyond atrocious. Ashton Kutcher tries to play troubled, but ends up coming off nutty. In one particularly ridiculous scene, he pretends to cry while wearing a chicken costume. Michelle Pfeiffer mostly relies on her strategically tousled hair. And don't even get me started on the voice-overs...

#3: The whole movie is crazy confusing and hard to watch, due to the fact that it attempts to be very artsy and overly dramatic. It has a sort of gray filter over the whole thing and there are endless amounts of camera shots approximately one centimeter from the characters' faces.

I've already spent way too much time on this subject. The moral of the story is: if your Tivo thinks that it's taping this movie for you, tell your Tivo no.


Many moans,

Hannah

Oh Snap

We've got tickets to the midnight showing (well, 12:02 if you want to get technical).

Do you?

Full-Body Goosebumps

So, a few weeks ago, the schedule for the Savannah Film Fest came out. The Film Fest usually looks like a ballot for the Academy Awards. This year, there were a bunch of great movies coming including An Education, Men Who Stare at Goats, and Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire. When I saw that they were playing Precious, I thought I might pee. It got even better when I read that director Lee Daniels and star actress Gabourey Sidibe would be attending the screening.

Anyone who personally knows me knows that I am a sucker for anything sad and depressing, and anything that involves Oprah. So it shouldn't be a shock that I can't wait to see Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire, which happens to be produced by Oprah. Precious chronicles the teenage years of Clareece 'Precious' Jones' (Gabourey Sidibe) life, and documents the abuse from her ferocious mother, Mary (Mo'Nique). Mo'Nique's character Mary is the definition of a horrendous mother. She continuously beats Precious, and makes Precious feel like she is worth nothing. The movie also stars a unrecognizable Mariah Carey, Lenny Kravitz, Paula Patton, and Sherri Shepard.

-Matt

Latest Obsession

My latest obsession, Noah Mills. Need I say more? I think not.

-Matt

Matt is Back!

....and he's bringing a Fierce Bitch with him!

Iris Strubegger is the new Fierce Bitch. She brings 90's androgyny to a new level. Move over Kristen McMenamy, Iris is moving in on your turf and she's here to stay.

-Matt

Welcome Back Michael Buble (how do I get an accent on that "e"?)

Also, I'd like to officially dedicate this post to PMills, who is currently not speaking to me on the basis of me not updating the blog enough to her liking. So, here you are, pal. Enjoy this while I finish my homework.


Love,

Hannah

Celebrity Couples

Drew Barrymore and Justin Long

While they are notoriously on-again off-again, when Drew and Justin are on-again, they are adorable and we like them. A lot.

You Know Who's Attractive?

Congratulations to John Cho, who, due to his new TV series Flash Forward (which you should be watching, if you're not already), has graduated from Awkward Crush to Legit Hot Guy. Check out these lovely photos from GQ. 2 thumbs up.


-Hannah

Awkward Crush (New!)

While I hate to even use the word "awkward" because of its ubiquity in today's unimaginative (and apparently thesaurus-lacking) society, and also because I generally don't like the way it's spelled, it appears to be the only word to define these types of feelings. It's the Awkward Crush, and while they are usually kept secret, we are now sharing them with the world. They're awkward, and that's all there is to it. Maybe they are far from conventionally attractive, maybe they're nerdy, or perhaps they are a little scary. Take Exhibit A below.

My Awkward Crush: Eminem

The beauty of the Awkward Crush, is that there is really no need to elaborate on your reason for liking such a person. It's just awkward, and you don't even know what the deal is. So, Eminem. I can't put my finger on it, and that's O.K.


Gotta love 8 Mile (maybe...),

Hannah

Quote of the Moment

In regards to a very noisy afternoon, apparently...

"I'm going to kill our neighbors. They were yelling and being Southern!"

-Kate Pixler

Fierce Bitch of the Moment

In honor of the recent Spring shows in NYC, we bring you a very, very fierce bitch: Karlie Kloss, otherwise known as fashion's new It girl (sorry Aggy). If it were physically possible to walk in every show at Bryant Park, Karlie would have conquered that task. Not only can she rock the Care Bear Stare whilst stomping the runway, but Miss Kloss is also only 17. Take that, lesser bitches.

Black and white fierceness

Oh, you know, just chillin' with Bulgari. Fierce.

Fierce times four

Also: You can peep Karlie as the face of Lola (Marc Jacobs' newest perfume)

....or check her out blowin' up Style.com

More Video!

Everyone knows I have a soft spot for The Maine...

This song is silly and I don't know who dresses like this at airports, but I am a fan of this video. And I am a fan of any moment in time I get to see John O'Callaghan sing cute songs. He might be a little too skinny-jeans-emo-dirty-swoop for me in real life, but I don't even care because he's adorable and I watch this video On Demand in my room way too much. Look at his little face when he sings "She made me change my way-ay-ays." Ok, just look at his little face the whole damn time, because it's good.

Dear John, I'll be waiting near baggage claim. I can be a poor man's Zooey Deschanel too!

Definitely not hipster enough,

Hannah

Come On, Now

I know it's way past the point of "acceptable coolness", but if this song is not your jam, then you can get out of here.

As far as this video is concerned, it has absolutely nothing to do with the song. Or maybe that's just what Drake wants us to think? Is this song about his basketball team, or what? You tell me. 

DISCLAIMER: The girls in this video are ridiculous looking. There are boobs all over the place. Also, I've never actually listened to the words to this song, so be ready to pardon Drake's French on various occasions.

I hope you like sweaty girls,

Hannah

Silly Hipsters, Glasses Are For People Who Can't See

You Know Who's Attractive?

The "Underdog Hotties" 

Big Screen/Small Screen Edition (Vol. 1)

We would like to stop and appreciate the celebrity men out there who are not your typical dreamboat hunks. They may not have bulging muscles or chiseled features likened to Greek gods, but they continue to interest us with their charm, their mystery, and their keen role choices in such fine films as Slumdog Millionaire and Into the Wild.  Feast your eyes on the first batch of "Underdog Hotties" (we are open to suggestions from any of our readers).

Zach Gilford (lovingly country on Friday Night Lights)

Emile Hirsch (Captures both the adorable and the gritty)

Hugh Dancy  (Charming, handsome, and British...what more do you need?!)

Dev Patel (If you haven't seen Slumdog Millionaire, then you don't EVEN know!)

Joseph Gordon-Levitt (Let's just say it: HOT)

Y-E-S

There are no words.

O.K., maybe one...

Fierce.

(On behalf of Matt and myself) Stoked for Season 3,

Hannah

So Long, Farewell

Dear New York City,

The time has come to go our separate ways. Thanks for letting me live a few months of fabulous existence!  I have to give a shout-out to all the bros at Turtle Bay (a truly classy establishment) for providing so much entertainment! I would also like to send major props to the DJ at The Village Pour House for playing "Swing" by Savage (after 9 weeks of requests)...you are extremely awesome! And a special thanks to the gyro man on 54th and 3rd for feeding us.

Sincerely,

Hannah

Cute

I'm really busy. How about you?

TFD

O.K., more Toothpaste for Dinner....

This made me laugh so hard, I had to cover my mouth so I wouldn't wake my roomies. 

Hilarious,

Hannah

Google "Hipster"

A comic artist known only as "Drew" is the mind behind one my favorite sites-- Toothpaste for Dinner (toothpastefordinner.com). I Googled the word "hipster" (to better describe such a person to an inquiring friend of Audra's) and this silly drawing appeared in the image search results...

[image courtesy of toothpastefordinner.com]

Toothpaste for Dinner is always good for a laugh, so I would suggest checking it out.  The humor can be a little odd sometimes, but if you find that sort of thing funny, it's the perfect site for you!

Later,

Hannah

Your Daily Dose of Pug

Yes. It's a pug post. We like pugs (check the URL, homies), so get over the fact that you might not find them as riveting as we do. It's our blog and we make the rules. If you've got a glitch, you can take your board and surf the web elsewhere. 

On that note-- here is a darling video where the ever-busy pug is out of its cup and taking it to the streets...pushing a stroller, no less.

Shameless puggery,

Hannah

Introducing a new section....Celebrity Couples!

Everyone knows that celebrities are strangely fascinating, but something truly amazing happens when two stars form a romantic relationship.  In this new addition, we will showcase some of our favorite celebrity romances, both current and vintage. 

For this debut, I give you Leighton Meester (the beloved Blair Waldorf) and Sebastian Stan (also, of Gossip Girl).  While both very attractive in their own right, when they are thrown together, you get one hot celebrity couple!

xoxo,

Hannah

Oh, Come On!

Today, whilst diddling around on Facebook, I saw a picture of one of my young friends (16 years old) and I have to say, I was disturbed. Not only was she wearing more makeup than I even own, but she was also wearing a tight strapless minidress with a studded belt and 4-inch Christian Louboutins. This seems to be a trend among modern adolescents of the world.  

They might not be as slutty as Miley (see below), but they definitely don't dress their age, in my opinion. I find it mildly ridiculous. When I was little, I wore Limited Too and flower-print Keds slip-ons.  My dad would have dropped dead before letting me out of the house in a dress that barely covered my pre-pubescent bum, let alone leather spiked heels.

(Are you kidding me? This child just turned 16.)

Now, I realize that this is Hollywood and it's a totally different world, where young girls are on some sort of fast-track to adulthood and sex appeal, but I guess, I'm a little old-fashioned.  Doesn't anyone want to hold onto their childhood anymore? Sure, I wanted to wear a bra way too early, but I didn't run around after school in leather jackets and skinny jeans (although, not exactly popular at the time). 

Exhibit A: Little Miss Dakota Fanning

(What- is she 10?!)

(Look at those shoes!!)

(Remember when she was small, small, small in I Am Sam?)

("Oh hey, I'm 15 and I'm wearing combat boots." WTF.)

Jeez,

Hannah

Yuck

Today, on the way home from work........

I saw a piece of poop on the sidewalk.

Yeah,

Hannah

Remember This?

Lance Bass trying to be the first homo in space. 

Realizing Dreams

I haven't been blogging lately, so here I go again. My dear friend Kate sent me this amazing little chart. It cracks me up. 

-Matt

You Know Who's Attractive?

The hot men of HBO's True Blood...

Alexander Skarsgard (Scary vampire Eric)

Stephen Moyer (Good vampire Bill)

Sam Trammell (Restaurant owner/creepy shape-shifter Sam)

Ryan Kwanten (bad-boy-turned-Bible-beater Jason)

-Hannah

More Video!

Introducing (if you aren't already familiar): The Maine

This song is silly, silly, silly- but it is my jam!  Also, I have a mini-crush on the lead singer.  Isn't he oddly attractive?  And he looks like he would be funny, and I like funny.

-Hannah

Remember This?

Well, you may or may not know this song, but I heard it at Dos Caminos the other night (somehow, over the great noise- that place is so loud) and I forgot how much I loved it!

Beth Orton has a beautiful voice and I think she is quite adorable

......also, she appears to be very tall.

Enjoy.

xxoo,

Hannah

Fierce Bitch of the Moment

Gwen Stefani

How could we forget?

The lovely and talented quintessential Californian 

(and July Elle cover girl!) 

is practically the definition of fierce.    

It's that simple.

Apple (the Big one)

Sorry for the delay.  Here is a recap of life.

A variety of fun times have occurred in the past few weeks...

1. Friends, I present to you: "An Evening at Santos Party House"

[Matt, myself, and Lani (amidst the partiers)]

[Lani and Audra]

Somewhere way downtown, there is a little spot called Santos Party House.  Though our crowd may not have been even close to hipster enough to be seen there, we embarked anyway.  We went for a couple of reasons: one, to see Leighton Meester (of Blair Waldorf bitch fame) play some songs from her upcoming musical endeavor (we'll see...), and two, to see Amanda Lepore (a fierce tranny) sing silly songs and dance.

Free drinks until midnight set the night off to a fine start, although the "special" vodka with an energy boost they were offering had a little more boost than booze.  No worries- who turns down a free drink?  The evening was filled with great music (various MJ tributes), and much dancing ensued. 

[Are there any other girls here? No.]

[In true parazzi form- we spot Leighton descending the DJ booth!]

[Leighton Meester and Aud (heavy on the 'zoom')]

[Miz Amanda Lepore performing her hilarious song: "I Don't Know Much About 

Clothes, But My Hair Looks Fierce" (our new anthem, no doubt)]

One thing can be said for Santos Party House- it is very fun!  However, it is not for the faint of heart.  Steer clear if you aren't a fan of half-naked guys dancing on bars wearing white Speedos and sparkly gun necklaces.  Because, in a mere moment, you might turn to see that those dancing guys are now only wearing sparkly gun necklaces. Wooo.

Nudity,

Hannah